Child Porn Suspect Gets My Little Pony-Induced Erections

Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3188636/Child-porn-suspect-25-admits-clopper-sexually-aroused-Little-Pony-cartoons.html

A 25-year-old child porn suspect has admitted to police that he is a ‘clopper’ – someone who gets sexually aroused by children’s cartoon My Little Pony, according to an affidavit. Alexander Carlsson, from Longwood, Florida, was arrested on Wednesday after FBI agents tipped off police that he was sending and receiving child porn images online. Now in custody, Carlsson told officers that he is aroused by images of young girls, mostly aged between three and 16, and that he also performs sex acts while watching My Little Pony cartoons, federal documents say. Carlsson also admitted to being aroused by Hentai porn showing the abuse of young girls and children, which is based on the Japanese animation style anime.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Add the term “clopper” to urbandictionary. If you can’t prove this guy is involved in child pornography, throw him in jail for beating his meat to animated ponies. He’s the reason that Pornhub uploads videos of Bart Simpson banging Marge or Brian chowing down on Lois Griffin.

I just discovered that there is a My Little Pony convention in Baltimore, which ironically starts today and ends on Sunday. The convention has sessions all weekend including “Hay or Neigh: How to Whinny Like a Pro” and “Designing Pony Cosplays.” This is right up Carlsson’s alley. He can create an erotic pony costume then neigh and strut around the stadium with his fellow cloppers. Too bad he’ll be in jail and will miss out on all the fun. Probably a good thing for the kids attending.

At the GOP debate last night Governor Kasich’s said, “Just because they don’t think the same way doesn’t mean we shouldn’t love them.” If I told John that there are people out there that get stiffies from watching a child’s animated television show about female ponies, he would have a convulsion. Not even gonna touch the fact that this pervert is from Florida, which makes things a lot clearer.

Colbert Makes Stewart Laugh and Cry in Stewart’s Final Daily Show

Last night Stephen Colbert swooped into the shadows of the Daily Show’s set like Batman. He started the beginning of this segment with Lord of the Rings analogies, comparing Stewart to Frodo and himself to Sam Gamgee. As a low-key LOTR fanatic, this made me laugh until I coughed blood. Could have used a Smeagol reference though. At the 3-minute mark Colbert put on his game face and earnestly commended his good friend and co-worker. Stewart once told Colbert, “Never thank me because you owe me nothing.” Colbert then claimed that he could have never been more wrong as he would still be mining turds in the Appalachian Region with his pappy until he contracted ‘dung-lung’ if it weren’t for Stewart. Despite the jokes, Stewart teared up as he detected Colbert’s sincerity. Overall A+ finale to a hit series that’s been on air since 1996. Yes, I said finale because this weird South African guy who’s replacing Stewart is about as funny as a brick. R.I.P Daily Show.